BANGKOK, Thailand – Many expatriates in Thailand hold misconceptions about the religious permissibility of polygamous relationships, often referred to as having a “Mia Noi” or “little wife.”
Contrary to common Western assumptions, the relationship between Buddhism and polygamy is more nuanced than typical moral frameworks might suggest, particularly within a nation where approximately 95 percent of the population adheres to Buddhism. This understanding is crucial for appreciating a cultural phenomenon that frequently defies easy categorization.
The Marriage is a Secular Matter in Buddhism
Buddhism views marriage as a civil affair between individuals or families, without dictating monogamy or polygamy as a religious mandate. There is no canonical Buddhist wedding ceremony, nor is it required for a monk to officiate a marriage.
The Tipitaka, the collection of core Buddhist scriptures, does not provide explicit regulations on marriage. Consequently, the question of how many partners an individual is entitled to has never been a subject the Buddhist faith explicitly sought to answer.
The Third Vow and Its Wording
For lay Buddhists, the Five Silas, or fundamental ethical precepts, are paramount. The third vow specifically addresses sexual morality.
In Pali, this vow reads: kāmesu micchācāra veramaṇī sikkhāpadaṃ samādiyāmi, which can be understood as the commitment to abstain from misconduct in sensual matters. The term ‘kāma’ broadly encompasses sensual pleasure, with sexual behavior being the most common interpretation.
Agamya: The Little-Known Concept
Early Pali commentaries define sexual misconduct using the term agamya, referring to individuals with whom sexual contact constitutes a transgression. This list includes individuals in existing committed relationships, those under familial protection, those who have taken a vow of chastity, and those unable to give genuine consent.
The underlying principle is not that certain acts are inherently impure, but rather that such situations involve deception, betrayal, exploitation, or a breach of trust. As a study from the University of Kelaniya suggests, the core concern is misconduct that harms a third party.
Why There Is No Inherent Sexual Sin
The pivotal difference from Western traditions lies in the point of reference. While Christian-influenced sexual morality questions the purity of an act itself, Buddhism examines its consequences for others.
An act is not forbidden because it is inherently impure, but because it creates a tangible victim. Consequently, the gender and orientation of those involved are irrelevant to the third vow, as the criteria are harm, deception, and exploitation, not the structure of the relationship.
How Siam’s Supreme Cleric Interpreted the Vow
Krom Phraya Vajirananavarorasa, who served as the tenth Supreme Patriarch of Buddhism in Thailand from 1910 to 1921, defended polygamy based on this very logic. He argued that as long as a man did not attempt to take another’s wife or alienate her affections, he had not violated the third vow.
This interpretation influenced the upper echelons of old Siam for generations. The ethical justification was that wealthy men with additional wives provided sustenance for women who might otherwise have had few means of supporting themselves. In this cultural context, polygamy was seen not as promiscuity but as a form of responsibility.
The End of Polygamy Was a Political Act
Until October 1, 1935, polygamy was freely practiced in Thailand. The old family law recognized three categories of wives: the mia klang muang (official chief wife), the mia klang nok (secondary wife), and the mia klang thasi (unfree woman), with children from all these unions considered legitimate.
The Civil and Commercial Code, enacted on that date, mandated monogamy in Section 1452. This shift was not driven by Buddhist reform but by diplomatic pressure from the West during the modernization under King Chulalongkorn. Thus, religion neither introduced nor abolished polygamy.
Doctrine and Lived Reality Diverge
There exists a gap between what scriptures state and what occurs in daily life. For centuries, religious interpretations provided a framework that morally secured polygamy for the elite, but it was never elevated to a religious commandment.
Today, according to a survey by the Institute of Southeast Asian Studies, few young Thais engage in daily prayer. This distinction is important for expatriates to avoid conflating concepts. Religious tolerance of a historical practice does not equate to legal recognition or current societal acceptance.
What Buddhism Actually Recommends
This discussion does not imply that Buddhism promotes multiple partners as an ideal. The forest monk tradition, exemplified by the highly respected Thai teacher Ajahn Chah (died 1992), emphasizes detachment from sensual attachments and the middle way between indulgence and deprivation as conditions for serious practice.
Engaging with multiple partners creates more familial entanglements and complicates mental concentration. The path to reduced suffering, according to Buddhist teachings, involves less attachment, not more. While the doctrine does not contain an explicit prohibition of multiple partners, it clearly indicates a direction. For those seeking to understand Thailand’s stance on relationships, the key lies here: what appears outwardly liberal is rooted in an ethic that prioritizes honesty and responsibility over a fixed number.