PATTAYA, THAILAND – A German single father in Pattaya said he was agonising over whether to leave Thailand and return to Germany for the sake of his 10‑year‑old son.
Child’s wish puts life in Thailand in question
The father, who runs a diving school in Pattaya, said his doubts intensified after his son Lukas told him over breakfast that he wanted to go to Germany.
“Dad, I want to go to Germany.”
said Lukas, according to his father. The boy’s Thai mother had moved out eight months earlier and returned to Surin, leaving the father as a single parent in Thailand.
Between two worlds after a separation
The man described long nights worrying about his son’s schooling, future prospects, language and cultural identity. He said life as a single German father in Pattaya made him feel like “an exotic among exotics”, noting that most other Germans he met were retirees or couples rather than parents with school‑age children. He questioned whether the life they had built in Thailand was the right one for a child growing up between two worlds.
From dream life in Thailand to growing isolation
The father said he had moved to Thailand 15 years earlier, calling the country his “great love” and an escape from the “grey everyday life” in Germany. He reported that the turquoise sea, friendly people, low living costs and a successful small diving business had felt like paradise. The relaxed “mai pen rai” attitude and year‑round tourism meant his business almost ran itself, but he said the separation from his former wife Noi had turned that paradise into a sometimes lonely place for him and his son.
Pull of Germany and pressure from family
Germany now felt like “home” again, the man said, citing reliable public systems, traditional bakeries and family ties as growing attractions. He linked his son’s wish to move with a longing for grandparents, cousins, Christmas markets and winter snow.
“When Lukas says he wants to go to Germany, that also speaks to the longing for grandma and grandpa, his cousins, Christmas markets and snow in winter.”
said the father.
Education and future prospects under scrutiny
The man said he trusted the reputation of German schools more than the private school his son currently attended in Thailand. He questioned the quality of teaching, standards and later university opportunities in comparison with Germany. His own mother called him weekly asking when he would “finally come home”, he said, adding that she was getting older and missed her grandson badly, which he described as emotionally exhausting.
Divided family across Thailand and Europe
According to the father, Lukas currently saw his mother only every two weeks at weekends, with each visit requiring a three‑hour car journey to Surin. He described his son staring out of the window during these trips with “deep sadness” in his face and stressed the importance of the boy’s Thai relatives for his identity. At the same time, he pointed to the child’s unrealised opportunity to grow up near his German grandmother and cousins, whom he had not seen in person for three years.
Distance dilemma if they move
If they moved to Germany, the father believed Lukas could see his German grandmother regularly and grow up alongside his two cousins of a similar age. However, he feared that the distance to his Thai mother’s family would then become “huge”, potentially limiting visits to once a year during summer holidays. He said every decision would disappoint someone and that as a single parent he constantly felt torn between all sides.
Bureaucratic hurdles in both countries
The man described Thai immigration procedures as an “annual nightmare”, citing visa extensions, work permits and reporting requirements. He said officials at the immigration office knew him “personally, and not in a positive sense”, and referred to long waits, changing rules and expectations of informal payments. At the same time, he did not idealise Germany, calling German bureaucracy “legendarily complicated” and anticipating a mountain of registrations, insurance arrangements, tax filings and visits to local authorities if he returned.
Climate: between tropical heat and winter gloom
Year‑round warmth in Thailand meant he could swim in the sea every day and his son had barely suffered from colds, the father said. He contrasted this with what he called the grey, depressing German winter, which he did not miss at all. Yet he also described the Thai hot season with temperatures above 40 degrees and high air‑conditioning costs, and reported that his son, who had never seen snow or built a snowman, sometimes asked him what snow looked like.
Cost of living versus long‑term chances
According to his own figures, the father lived “like a king” in Thailand on about €1,500 a month, including a two‑room flat with pool, restaurant visits and private school fees for his son. His diving school’s net income of €2,500 to €3,500 per month allowed a comfortable life and savings, he said. By contrast, he expected Germany to “hit him brutally” financially, with much higher rent, food prices, heating costs, taxes and social contributions, and far weaker prospects for a profitable diving business.
Social life and friendships for father and son
The father described the expatriate community in Thailand as supportive but unstable, with many Europeans staying only a few years. He said his son had already lost three “best friends” when families moved away to Europe or the United States. In Germany, he believed, his own long‑standing friendships could be revived and his son might form relationships that would last from kindergarten to high school, providing stability and continuity.
Career success versus emotional security
The man portrayed his well‑rated diving school, built up over seven years and popular with tourists, as his “baby”. He feared that leaving for Germany would mean abandoning this successful venture and that running a similar operation in German lakes would be close to “economic suicide” because of the short season and limited demand. At the same time, he said clearly that his son’s happiness outweighed any business, and that starting over professionally at 38 in Germany, possibly in a new job altogether, frightened him.
Health care concerns and safety nets
The father reported positive experiences with Thai private clinics, describing them as modern, affordable and efficient, with short waiting times and English‑speaking doctors. He cited a recent case in which his son’s tonsillitis, including antibiotics, cost the equivalent of €25. However, he expressed concern about serious illnesses or accidents, saying he depended on private insurance and that state hospitals in Thailand did not meet European standards, whereas in Germany every child was automatically insured and he could rely on the public system in emergencies.
Ongoing inner conflict without resolution
Summarising his situation, the father said he felt like a prisoner of his own decisions, caught in an endless cycle of questions about whether to stay in Thailand or return to Germany. He contrasted his familiar life and working success in Pattaya with what he saw as greater security and opportunities for his son in Germany. The man did not indicate any final decision, describing instead a persistent sense of being torn between the two countries and the two halves of his son’s family.